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The Penguin Who Loved Me/Transcript
|General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- Scene I: Penguin Habitat Kowalski is outside of the Penguin HQ, testing a new invention on his feet. Kowalski: Anti-gravity socks field test, activating... now! Kowalski turns on the socks and begins to float in the air. Kowalski: 'giggling Oh, sweet! ''The socks start to malfunction. Kowalski falls out of them and lands squashed on the ground. The socks are still floating in the air. Kowalski tries to grab for them but they keep rising higher. 'Kowalski: '...Okay, nobody saw-- A platypus appears behind him. 'Parker: '''Hey. ''Kowalski screams and moves back. 'Parker: '''You Kowalski? '''Kowalski: '''Yes. throat Yes, yes, I am. '''Parker: '''Come with me. '''Kowalski: '''Excuse me sir, but I don't just wander off with strange platypuses. Or is it... platypi? Platypuseses? '''Parker: '''You'll come if I say the right word. '''Kowalski: '''And what word would ''that ''be? Scene II: Penguin HQ ''Kowalski jumps down through the fishbowl and dashes into his lab, screaming. Skipper, Rico and Private gather around the closed door and listen to the sounds coming from inside. He then runs out with a suitcase, slamming the other penguins with the lab door. 'Kowalski: 'the ladder out of the HQ Don't know when I'll be back, maybe never, nice knowing you! 'Rico: '''Uh, bye? '''Private: '''What was that about? '''Skipper: '''Well, let's find out. flippers together We'll check the surveillance tapes! ''Skipper presses a button on a secret panel in the wall, causing Kowalski's lab door to spin around multiple times. It stops to reveal a surveillance system. 'Private: '''You watch everything Kowalski does? '''Skipper: '''Well, yeah! But, uh, just Kowalski, cause, you know, he's kind of a nut job. I mean, you're cool, I'd never do that to you guys. ''Skipper presses a button on the system. A video of Private pacing around starts to play. 'Private the tape: 'Skipper I'm Skipper, give me options for being a fuddy duddy! Skipper frantically tries to change the video. A video of Rico sitting at the table starts to play. 'Rico: the tape: 'a carton of milk and makes a disgusted face Ugh! chugging it Skipper giggles nervously and changes the tape again. Kowalski and Parker appear on the screen. '''Parker the tape: '''You'll come if I say the right word. '''Kowalski the tape: '''And what word would ''that ''be? '''Parker the tape: ''Doris.'' All three penguins gasp. Skipper: 'That is ten pounds of trouble in a three pound bag. '''Private: 'gasps You do ''watch everything we do! Scene III: Dock ''Kowalski and Parker are walking towards the end of a dock. 'Kowalski: '''She ''needs ''me? '''Parker: '''Her very words. Said you're the smartest guy she's ever met. '''Kowalski: '''Ah, always knew Doris would come to her senses someday. It's the casual confidence I exude. My effortless aplume, a sense of suave-- '''Doris: '''Kowalski! ''Doris appears at the end of the dock, diving into the water and coming back up, spraying water out of her blowhole. '' '''Doris: '''Hey you! '''Kowalski: 'several babbling sounds Doris?! appear around him as he is dazed 'Doris: '''Kowalski? '''Kowalski: 'stuttering Y-y-you still got the p-p-p-pretty parts! 'Doris: 'laughs You haven't changed a bit! Oh Kowalski, it's really nice to see you. Kowalski is visibly vibrating with excitement 'Doris: '''Now take a deep breath, then respond. '''Kowalski: '''Okay. a very deep breath, then speaks quickly Nice to see you too! '''Doris: 'Parker, who has moved to stand next to her Didn't I tell you he's great, baby? 'Kowalski: 'falls Baby? 'Parker: '''Oh yeah, guy's got it going on. Just like you said, sweetie. '''Kowalski: '''Sweetie?! and makes several distressed sounds Scene IV: The Streets of New York ''Skipper, Rico and Private are racing through the street in their pink car. 'Skipper: '''I hope we're not too late to talk and/or pound some sense into Kowalski's oblong head. '''Rico: '''Duck! ''Private ducks as they drive underneath a large truck. 'Private: '''Really, Skipper? Doris can't be that bad, can she? '''Skipper: '''Private, the first time Doris rejected Kowalski, he refused to leave his bunk. ''For... six... months! 'Rico: '''Duck! ''Private ducks again for another large truck. 'Private: '''Six months?! '''Skipper: '''Yep. Didn't even move once. Believe you me, clean-up duty was not pleasant. ''Private starts to make a sound of disgust but is slammed out of the backseat and into the front of a large truck that had just drove over their car. '' '''Rico: '''Duck! Scene V: Dock '''Kowalski: '''Oh, it'll never work, Doris! Is he bird? Is he mammal? If he can't commit to a species, how can he commit to you?! '''Doris: '''Listen, I've heard this all before. Except then, it was about Doug the porpoise, or Harry the octopus, or Pete the manatee. '''Kowalski: '''He was ugly on the inside, too. '''Doris: '''Listen, Kowalski. I like you. I do, I really like you, I like you, but I'm never gonna like you like you. Can you understand that? ''Kowalski appears to be about to start crying but is pulled away by a lasso. Zoom out to Rico and Private yanking him to them and Skipper jumping out from behind them with a device with forks sticking out of it. 'Skipper: '''Get Kowalski away from her, men. Excessive force is approved... and encouraged! '''Rico: '''Oh boy! ''Rico regurgitates a lead pipe and begins running towards Doris. Private attempts to stop Kowalski from chasing after him but Kowalski escapes and tackles Rico to the ground. 'Kowalski: '''Force, excessive or otherwise, won't be necessary, Skipper. '''Skipper: '''Oh, really? Rico hocked up a lead pipe... and I'm kinda hankering to use this thing. ''Skipper turns on the device. Surges of electricity surge up between the forks. 'Kowalski: '''Sorry. I just wanna go home... and be forever... alone... in my bunk. ''Rico and Private share a look and a disgusted shiver. 'Parker: '''Hold on, pal. Doris didn't bring you here just to rip your heart out. '''Kowalski: '''Oh, there's ''more?! What, is she going to compost it for a victory garden she's planting that consists entirely of broccoli, which by the way, I despise?! 'Private: ...'Have you tried it with cheese? 'Kowalski: '''No, I haven't! '''Private: '''Quite good with cheese... '''Doris: '''No, I need your help, Kowalski. It's my brother, Francis. He's a prisoner. A prisoner of... Seaville. ''Kowalski gasps. Scene VI: Penguin HQ The penguins and Parker are standing around the table, looking at a map of Seaville. '' '''Kowalski: '''Seaville Aqua Fun Park. Security is beyond state of the art. It's the Fort Knox of aqua fun parks. '''Parker: '''That's why we need you, ace. You got the tech skills we need to free Doris's brother. '''Kowalski: '''All this time, I never even knew she had a brother. '''Parker: '''Francis. Likes: seaweed and swimming. Dislikes: nets. Any other pointless facts you need to know? '''Kowalski: '''Uh, no. '''Parker: '''Then here's what I need to know: you in? '''Kowalski: '''Just, uh... give me a moment, to discuss with my compatriots? ''The penguins gather in a huddle. '' '''Kowalski: '''Upside: If I can rescue Doris's brother, I can shove that right in Parker's smug duck face. Downside, the only fortress harder to penetrate than Seaville is Doris's own heart. '''Skipper: '''And my side, we do this, you're not befouling your own bunk. Parker We're in! '''Parker: 'to the window, where Doris is waiting in the pool outside They're in! Zooms to outside, Doris excitedly breaches and dives back into the water. 'Doris: '''Yes! ''Zooms out to lemur habitat. 'King Julien: 'Doris What?! They got one of those?! Maurice and Mort turn on a sprinkler and wave colored flashlights at Julien. 'King Julien: '''No, no, forget it, Maurice. Turn off the dancing waters. The penguins totally upstaged us with their trained fish. ''Maurice turns off the sprinkler while Mort shines his flashlight into his own eyes. Julien drapes himself dramatically in his throne. '' '''King Julien: '''Stupidy penguins! Scene VII: New York Coast ''Off the coast of where the Statue of Liberty is, the penguins' submarine sets out into the ocean with Doris following behind. 'Skipper: '''Skipper's Log. We run silent. We run deep. Right up to Seaville's back door. ''The submarine approaches Seaville. They arrive in front of an underwater pipeline blocked off by a grate. 'Skipper: '''Covert assault team launch. '''Kowalski: '''Do I ''have ''to be on a team with ''him? to Parker 'Parker: '''Here we go. '''Skipper: '''Kowalski, Rico's hypnotized by the ping machine. '''Rico: 'the ping machine Ping... ping... ping... 'Skipper: '''And I promised Private I'd let him steer. '''Private: '''Look at me! I'm doing a bang up job, aren't I, Skipper?! ''Private accidentally smashes the sub into the wall. '' '''Skipper: '''Yes, Private, bang up job... Kowalski So Parker's your man. Now covert assault team launch, pronto. ''Kowalski and Parker leave the sub. They swim to Doris and each grab onto one of her flippers. Doris dives out of the water and uses her tail to fling them onto the wall. Parker lands perfectly; Kowalski almost falls off and onto the passing guards but Parker pulls him back up. Kowalski pulls up the map of Seaville on his smartphone. '' '''Kowalski: '''Security control is this way. Follow me, ''if you can! Kowalski laughs and accidentally walks off the wall, falling painfully onto a lamp. 'Parker: '''How about you follow me? off of the wall '''Kowalski: '''Okay... off the lamp ''They come to a series of surveillance cameras with sweeping lights. Kowalski, on the ground, gets stuck in one place as he frantically tries to dodge every single light. Parker avoids the lights by walking on top of the wall. They arrive at a padlocked door. Kowalski attempts to use his flipper to open the lock. Parker gets impatient and kicks the door down. They move over to the security controls, where Kowalski plugs in his smart phone. '''Kowalski: '''They're using AES encryption? Pfft, amateurs! '''Parker: '''So you can crack it? '''Kowalski: Is a ununquadium a noble gas? snorts It totally is! laughing and snorting You were like,' 'what?? '' ((Note: ununquadium isn't a noble gas xD though it does exhibit noble gas properties)) '''Parker: '''And you wonder why Doris doesn't like you like you. '''Kowalski: '...Yeah... squeaks Kowalski deactivates the security system, opening the pipeline grate. The penguins and Doris enter and emerge on the other side of the wall where Kowalski and Parker are waiting. 'Skipper: '''Nice work, Kowalski. '''Kowalski: '''Don't you mean 'exceptional' work, Skipper? I mean, really, who else could've done this? Answer: nobody but this guy right here! Me, the brainy guy! '''Skipper: '''Geeze, yeah, okay! Don't dislocate a flipper patting yourself on the back! '''Private: 'throat Oris-Day... 'Skipper: '''Huh? ''Doris smiles at them. 'Skipper: '''Oh. I mean... yeah, Kowalski, way to go. Gold star for you, buddy. ''Two guards approach and see the animals. Both gasp. 'Guard #1: '''What the hey? '''Guard #2: '''We got a situation! ''They both pull out nightsticks and start walking towards the animals. 'Rico: '''Oh heck. '''Skipper: '''Get them. ''The penguins get into fighting stance. Parker jumps in front of them. 'Parker: '''No, hold your ground. ''Parker jumps onto one of the guards and jams his foot into his neck. The guard falls unconscious. Parker does the same to the other guard and jumps back to the ground. 'Skipper: '''You guys see that?! How'd you do that, man? '''Parker: 'up foot Toxic spurs. 'Skipper: '''Really? Like it. Standard equipment? '''Parker: '''Yep. I'm evolution's grab bag. '''Skipper: '''Nice!! Kowalski, why don't you have toxic spurs? Kowalski looks sad I mean, not like you need 'em. I mean, you did a good job, I do recall a gold star or... ''Kowalski bows his head in sadness. Scene VIII: Seaville Dolphin Exhibit Kowalski leads the other penguins, Parker, and Doris to the dolphin exhibit using the map on his smartphone. Doris and the penguins peer into the water tank. 'Doris: '''Francis? Francis, are you in there? Francis? '''Skipper: '''Aw man, I can't see squat through this icky black murk. Rico, shed some light on the subject. '''Rico: '''Got ya! ''Rico slides over to the light switch. He hocks up a flashlight and uses it to flip the switch. The exhibit lights up. The penguins initially cheer at the accomplishment but all gasp when they look into the tank. 'Rico: '''Woah... '''Private: '''It can't be... '''Kowalski: '''The mind boggles... '''Skipper: '''It's... ''Dr. Blowhole rises out of the water. 'Skipper: '''Dr. Blowhole. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Hey, penguins! You guys new to the park? You should get back to your tanks, they are crazy strict here. '''Skipper: '''I don't know what your game is, Blowhole, BUT I WILL SEE YOU BURN! YOU HEAR ME? appears around him BURN IN THE PITS OF HADES! '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Blowhole? No, sorry. I'm Flippy! Seaville's second most popular performer. Three shows a day, four on weekends. '''Skipper: '...Kowalski, uh, analyze this freak show. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Did you say free show? sighs Okay, fine. A few hoop jumps, but that's it. '''Kowalski: '''Skipper, the last we saw of Blowhole, he was a victim of his own Mind Jacker. He may actually still believe he is Flippy. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Here comes the triple back flip! ''Blowhole performs the triple back flip, splashing Doris as he finishes. 'Doris: '''He's not Flippy, and he's not... what did you call him? Dr. Blowhole? No, he's my brother, Francis. '''Kowalski: '''Sorry Doris, that's not Francis. '''Skipper: '''That is the sixth Svengali of the seven seas. My arch nemesis, Dr. Blowhole! '''Parker: '''Let me straighten this out. You're all right. He's both Doris's brother, Francis, ''and Dr. Blowhole. 'Dr. Blowhole: 'maracas Aw come on, I'm shaking it down here! The least you can do is pay attention! 'Parker: '''Uh, yeah, he's Flippy, too. '''Kowalski: '''How would you know?! '''Parker: '''Because, ''I work for him. Parker uses his toxic spurs to knock out the penguins. '' '''Parker: '''I mean, the evil him. Dr. Blowhole. ''Doris tries to escape back into the sewer but Parker knocks her out, too. Kowalski, not fully unconscious yet, sees this. '' '''Kowalski: '''Doris? ''Parker walks over to Kowalski and picks up his smartphone. 'Parker: '''Kowalski, I want to thank you. I couldn't have done this without you. '''Kowalski: '''Parker... ''Parker jabs Kowalski with his toxic spurs again; Kowalski blacks out. COMMERCIAL BREAK Scene IX: Dr. Blowhole's Lair Zoom in on an island in the middle of the ocean, then change to inside the lair. '' '''Lobster #1: '''Heck of a job there, Parker, bringing back Dr. Blowhole and whatnot. '''Lobster #2: '''Even if he is a little... different. '''Dr. Blowhole: 'around in the pool Wow, look at the size of this place! Bet you guys have some parties in here, am I right? 'Parker: '''Just pay me and I'll be on my way. '''Lobster #1: '''Uh, yeah, so here's the thing. We would love to pay you your money... '''Lobster #2: '''But we can't. ''Parker grabs Lobster #2 by his eye stalks. 'Parker: '''Start making sense now, or I go thermedor on your tail. '''Lobster #2: '''It's not our fault! Only Dr. Blowhole can sign off on expenditures over $50. '''Lobster #1: '''But just as soon as his mind is de-jacked, getting you paid, priority one. '''Lobster #3: '''Uh, actually priority number one will be Project: Bad Tidings. to cannon That energy cannon is a rental. '''Lobster #4: '''What about my vacation request form? '''Lobster #5: '''Don't forget the snacks for the break room. The Cheezy Bits are wicked stale. '''Lobster #1: '''Point is, getting you paid is in the top five priorities, just as soon as we get Dr. Blowhole back. ''Dr. Blowhole does a dive in the pool and comes back to the surface. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Woo! Hey guys, did you check out my dive? Back, one and a half somersault, tuck, awesome rip entry, no splash, like a knife? Oh yeah! ''A lobster pushes a button on a wall panel. Dr. Blowhole's is pushed out of the pool and onto his scooter. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Woah, hey! Warn a guy when you're gonna do that! '''Lobster #1: '''Restoring Dr. Blowhole is as simple as pushing a button. ''Lobster #1 pushes a button on Dr. Blowhole's scooter. A plunger pops out. '' '''Ridiculously Deep Voice: '''Plunger. '''Lobster #1: '''Heh... wrong button. ''Lobster #1 tries again several times but cannot find the right button. 'Ridiculously Deep Voice: '''Macguffium. Library card. Confetti cannon. Chrome Claw. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Ooh, go back to the confetti cannon. I could use that in my routine! '''Lobster #1: '''This, eh... might take awhile. Scene X: Seaville Dolphin Exhibit ''Doris is in the dolphin pool. Kowalski waddles up to her. 'Kowalski: '''Ah, Doris. Glad you're here. There's a small matter I've been meaning to take up with you regarding your boyfriend, Parker. throat ''TOLD YA! 'Doris: '''Oh, please. You've been suspicious of every boyfriend I've ever had. How was I to know that this was the one time you were actually right? '''Announcer: '''Seaville Amusement Park is pleased to present: Dottie the Dolphin, and her four foppish fish fanatics! ''Zoom out to a crowd of people in the stands of the dolphin arena. 'Skipper: ''Foppish'? Us?! into the water 'Private: '''I know! Fiddilydeed ((???)) of that! into water ''Doris climbs onto a rock, which has a rope draped on it. The penguins are in the water, Skipper and Kowalski behind one end of the rope and Rico and Private behind the other. 'Skipper: '''Sure you can do this? We only get one shot. '''Doris: '''I can, just hold on to the rope. the rope in her mouth '''Announcer: '''Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for... the Ring of Fire! ''The Ring of Fire lowers towards the pool. The crowd oohs. The penguins grab onto the rope. 'Skipper: '''This is it, men! ''Doris, with the penguins hanging on to the rope in her mouth, dives off of the rock into the water. They circle the pool several times to build up speed. They dive out of the water, through the Ring of Fire, over the cheering crowd, over the wall, and into the ocean. They accidentally hit a child on the way out. 'Boy: '''Yeah!! hit by the penguins; his head slams into the wall, his glasses fall off, and a tooth gets knocked out Yeah...! out Scene XI: Seaville Penguin Exhibit ''Two beaten up and bandaged penguins sit on the ground. One bounces a ball against the wall while the other plays the harmonica. The ball bouncing one sees Doris and the penguins fly over them and land in the ocean. 'Johnson: '''Hey, Manfredi. '''Manfredi: '''Yeah, what's that, Johnson? '''Johnson: '''Was that... Skipper? '''Manfredi: '''And-and the guys? ''Manfredi and Johnson start pounding on the glass wall and calling out to Skipper and the other penguins, saying it's them and begging them to come back. The penguins don't hear them. 'Skipper: '''Woo, that cesspool made Hoboken look like the French Riviera! '''Private: '''Let's never go there again! ''The penguins and Doris swim off as Manfredi and Johnson continue to yell. Scene XII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair The lobsters are showing Dr. Blowhole a slideshow of various things he's done to help jog his memory. 'Lobster #1: '''Here you are showing off your idea for Chrome Claw. You remember that? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''No. But nice slide, I like the composition. ''They change the slide. 'Lobster #2: '''Oh, and planning Project: Bad Tidings, remember that? By the by, that's totally ready to go whenever you give the word. ''The slide changes again. Parker is shown getting very impatient. 'Lobster #1: '''Here we are on that three day weekend in Cancun. Good times. Any bells? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Fellas, I appreciate your thinking I'm this 'Doc Blowhole' guy, but I'm not an evil aquatic overlord. I'm Flippy! Seaville's second most popular performer. ''One of the lobsters suddenly passes out as Parker knocks him out with his toxic spurs. 'Parker: '''Enough already! I want what's coming to me and I want it now! '''Skipper: '''Happy to oblige, Parker! ''The penguins ride into the lair through the pool on top of their sub, following Doris. 'Kowalski: 'Skipper You take Blowhole. The platypus is mine. Kowalski attacks Parker and they begin to fight. Many lobsters get hit with Parker's toxic spurs in the crossfire. Dr. Blowhole is tackled off of his scooter by Skipper. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Hey! You could hurt a guy like that! '''Skipper: '''Give it up, Blowhole! '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Why does everyone call me that? I'm Flippy! F-L-I, double P-Y! '''Skipper: '''Wait, your mind's not de-jacked yet? What's the hold up? ''The other penguins are fighting the lobsters. Rico lands in front of two. 'Lobster #2: '''Please don't fight me. My health care coverage hasn't kicked in yet. Fight him. ''Rico tackles the lobster next to him. Cut to Private, who is surrounded by lobsters. 'Private: '''Well, this hardly seems fair... ''Private takes all the lobsters out. He lands on top of the lobster pile and swipes his flippers together. 'Private: '''Told you it wasn't fair! ''Kowalski and Parker continue to fight. 'Kowalski: '''How could you do it?! You had the devotion of that aquatic goddess and you betrayed her! '''Parker: '''I didn't want her, never did. You know, kinda like how she doesn't want you. '''Kowalski: 'up Your words hurt far more than any punch possibly could! Parker punches Kowalski. 'Kowalski: 'strained Punch definitely hurts more... 'Doris: 'in the pool Stupid land based fighting... hey, what's this? She dives underwater and finds another scooter, which she emerges from the pool on. 'Doris: '''Haha! I'm in the game! ''Doris pushes a button to start the scooter, but it starts driving out of control. She goes past Parker and Kowalski. 'Kowalski: '''Doris? ''She accidentally runs over Kowalski. The scooter continues to drive itself and she runs into many lobsters. 'Doris: '''Woaahhh! Sorry! Okay, how do you drive this thing? ''Doris begins trying buttons on the scooter, which sets off the laser systems. 'Doris: '''My fault. That was totally me. the scooter Stop. Stop! Why won't you stop?! ''She pushes another button and the Mind Jacker appears. 'Ridiculously Deep Voice: '''Mind Jacker. ''The Mind Jacker starts firing randomly, removing the memories of several lobsters. '' '''Lobster #2: '''What? '''Lobster #3: '''Eh, huh? '''Lobster #4: '''Uh, who am I? ''A lobster eating stale Cheezy Bits spits them out in distaste. He is hit with the Mind Jacker and eats more Cheezy Bits, spitting them out again. Doris is still out of control and screaming. The Mind Jacker fires shots towards Parker and Lobster #1. 'Lobster #1: 'Parker Oh! The Mind Jacker was in the backup scooter! nervously I am totally blushing right now. Yeah, it's hard to tell. hit with Mind Jacker Eh, what were we talking about? Private, Rico, and the two lobsters they are fighting get hit with the Mind Jacker. 'Rico: '''Wha... what? '''Lobster: '''Do I know you? '''Private: '''No idea. What are we doing, anyway? '''Other Lobster: '''Looks like, uh, we were dancing. ''Skipper is trying to push Dr. Blowhole out of range of the Mind Jacker. 'Skipper: '''We've got to get you out of here, Flippy. If I get blasted and you get your memory back, then-- ''Skipper gets blasted with the Mind Jacker. 'Skipper: '''Then... then what? Who are you? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Flippy! Seaville's second most popular performer! Three shows a day, four on weekends. '''Skipper: '''Ooh, real live celebrity! ''Doris continues to ride the out of control scooter. 'Doris: '''Oh, what was my brother thinking with this thing? Mammals are made for water. ''Parker pushes Kowalski towards where the Mind Jacker is firing and he gets blasted. Doris runs him over again. Parker jumps up onto the scooter. '' '''Parker: '''Sorry, sweetheart. Just business. ''Parker kicks Doris off of the scooter. He blasts the Mind Jacker at Dr. Blowhole, restoring his memory. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Oh... I am... ''Dr. Blowhole. ''Skipper away Blowhole is back! evilly ''Parker rolls the scooter over to Dr. Blowhole, who climbs on. 'Parker: '''Good, great, now about my fee. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Do I know you? threatens him with his toxic spurs Kidding, Parker! I'll pay up, you little natural disaster. First, let's take care of these pen-gu-wins. '''Doris: '''Francis? '''Dr. Blowhole: 'over to Doris, who is laying on the floor Sis. Nice to see you. But around here, it's 'Dr. Blowhole'. Commands a little more respect. 'Doris: '''Mom's going to be so disappointed in you. And 'Doctor'... how's that work, exactly? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Internet courses through the teaching annex, thank you. towards the penguins and lobsters Hello everybody! Who'd like to play a game? ''The penguins and lobsters eagerly agree. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''Excellent. It's called "Capture the Pen-gu-wins". ''Cut to the penguins being chained to the wall. 'Skipper: '''Did we win? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Yes. '''Lobster: '''Aww... ''Dr. Blowhole pushes the Mind Jacker button on his scooter. 'Ridiculously Deep Voice: '''Mind Jacker. '''Parker: '''You're restoring their minds? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Of course. What's the point of dominating the world if your arch rivals don't even know you did it? ''Dr. Blowhole blasts them with the Mind Jacker. 'Skipper: '''Blowhole! You fiendish finned freak! '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Missed you too, Skipper! Good news though, you get to watch as I enact Project... button '''Ridiculously Deep Voice: '''Bad Tidings. '''Kowalski: '''Let me guess. You're using a giant tractor beam to bring the moon closer to the Earth, thus creating massive tidal wave chaos, which will flood the entire world. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Well thank you, Professor Spoiler. But you left out the part where I then rule the entire world! It's an important part. It's my favorite part. ''Cut to Doris, who is now trapped in a water tank. 'Doris: '''You do that, Francis, and I swear... I will never have you over for Thanksgiving ever again. '''Kowalski: '''Don't worry, Doris. Not gonna happen. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Oh, yes it is! Red One, power up the cannon! ''The lobster turns on the switch, firing up the cannon. 'Kowalski: '''I mean, you'll try but it won't work. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Of course it'll work! Open the blast way! ''A hatch in the ceiling of the lair opens, revealing the moon. 'Dr. Blowhole: 'muttering Wait... nononono... what the... Kowalski Why don't you think it'll work? 'Kowalski: '''Cavitation? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''I accounted for cavitation. '''Kowalski: '''And centripetal force? '''Dr. Blowhole: '''I accounted for centripetal force. '''Kowalski: '''Plus axis tilt? '''Dr. Blowhole: 'in Kowalski's face I accounted for that too. 'Kowalski: '''Then I guess it's just balance. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Balance? '''Kowalski: '''Yeah, as in, you've got none! ''Kowalski sticks his tongue out into Dr. Blowhole's eye, throwing him off balance and causing him to fall of his scooter. The scooter rolls over to the wall. Kowalski pushes a button with his foot that release him and the other penguins from their chains. 'Private: '''Super, Kowalski! ''Parker threatens them with his toxic spurs. Rico hocks up a bazooka and aims it at him. '' '''Rico: '''Uh-uh. '''Parker: 'around an walk away You are not paying me enough for this. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''I will! Promise! '''Skipper: '''Dolphin exchange, let's go! ''They push another button on the scooter, which opens the lid to the water tank. They carry Dr. Blowhole to it. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''No, no! No no no no! ''Doris leaps out of the tank and the penguins toss Dr. Blowhole into it. They shut the lid. 'Kowalski: '''By the way, Project: Bad Tidings would totally work. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''Crab cakes! I knew it! Fire the cannon! ''A lobster pushes a button. The laser activates and starts firing at the moon. Rico waddles over to the laser whistling; he hocks up a bundle of dynamite which blasts the laser from its spot. Now tipped over on the ground, it begins to attract everything inside the lair, including the lobsters. 'Dr. Blowhole: '''No! Shut it off! Shut it off! ''The switch for the laser is torn off of the wall and pulled to the cannon. 'Lobster #1: '''Oh, that's no good. '''Kowalski: '''Skipper, that thing's gonna blow! '''Skipper: '''Evacuate! '''Private: '''Oh dear, look! ''Parker is standing on top of the penguins' sub, ready to steal it for himself. '' '''Parker: '''Thanks for the ride, jerks! ''Doris jumps on the scooter to get over to Parker. She tackles him off of the sub and into the wall, while she lands in the water. '' '''Doris: '''Consider us officially broken up . ''She sprays water at him through her blowhole. The penguins leap into the sub. 'Skipper: '''Doris, lead the way! ''Doris leads the sub out of the pool and out of the lair. A lobster is hanging onto something that sticks to the tank Dr. Blowhole is trapped in. 'Lobster #1: '''So, is your name really ''Francis? The lobster is pulled to the cannon. Dr. Blowhole wears a look of disdain. The tank is then pulled to the cannon. Outside the lair, the penguins and Doris have made plenty of distance from the island, where explosions can now be seen. Doris briefly looks back, appearing sad, before continuing to follow the submarine. Scene XIII: Dock The penguins are standing on top of their submarine, which is still in the water. Doris is propped up against it. 'Kowalski: '''Sorry your boyfriend turned out to be evil. Not really... '''Doris: '''I guess next time, I should listen to you, Kowalski. You know, I've never seen you in action before. You were so brave and smart and confident. It was kinda... ''hot. '' '''Kowalski: 'excited Yeah?! hides reaction, sounds bored I mean, uh, throat yeah. 'Doris: '''What I'm trying to say is, I like you Kowalski. up against Kowalski Like you like you. '''Kowalski: 'nervous Oooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! I like you like you, like you like you, too! They bump noses against each other accidentally, as they try to work out how to kiss. Finally they get it right. The other penguins watch, Skipper covering Private's eyes. 'Private: '''Aww! '''Rico: '''Finally! ''Skipper takes his flippers off of Private's eyes. 'Private: '''Skipper, do you suppose we've finally seen the last of Dr. Blowhole? '''Skipper: '''What a delightfully naive question, Private. Nope. Blowhole is my arch enemy. And arch enemies always return. Scene XIV: Middle of the ocean ''Dr. Blowhole is floating on some debris. Parker is sitting on top of him. '''Skipper over: '''It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he is at this very moment rebuilding his evil empire. '''Dr. Blowhole: '''I can't pay you. My checkbook got destroyed. What can I do? jabs his toxic spurs into Dr. Blowhole's side Owwwww! Okay, okay! I got some gift cards you can have! You like the Pasta Barn? They've got bottomless salad and infinite bread sticks.Category:Transcripts